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Saturday, March 5th, 2005
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im such a gross fatass.
i have no self control.
someone should shoot me before it gets outof control.
my size 9 pants are tight today. 9's!!!!!
shite.
i need to get down to AT LEAST a 5. at the very least.
ew. could you imagine a talent agency picking up a girl whos size is 9?
ew, im such a lard ass and need some help wif my self.
ew.
im going on a redbull and carrot fast until my birthday.
bring myself up well.
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Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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| Subject: | ew |
| Time: | 11:31 pm. |
| Mood: |  calm. | | Music: | razorblade kiss-him. |
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bad day today. but you know. i will do awesome the next few days. confidence in myself.
they wont hire a fat actress. especially a little known one.
look at kirstie alley. shes seasoned and gained weight now shes got little. sucks.
anywho. love might be in the air soon. dahlia said she may have a hook up for me. that would be great. too bad im probably too fat for him.
sick.
i love people though. the other night was fun! :)
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Friday, December 31st, 2004
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really i have some resolutions.
get my weight down.
get an agent.
get hot. you know be that hot chick who people look at like damn, and cant pick out those flaws like gut or butt.
have my mom not make fun of me for eating.
be thinner than my mom.
be happy with myself.
have an AWESOME TIME.
make the most of everday.
keep on sharing the love!
♥
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Monday, December 20th, 2004
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| Time: | 6:05 pm. |
| Mood: |  shit embodied. | | Music: | iris- goo goo dolls. |
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im such a fucking heiffer its sad.
my goal is to lose at least 40 lbs by my birthday.
at least.
then i wont be so heiffer ish.
im so sick of this house.
its walls its echoing cries.
why cant i do anything good enough
why cant they see somethings wrong
why dont they care,
why do they tell me im so fat
at least they know and i need to know
its a sad place where thats all you see
no where to get away
just striving
all i can try to do is be perfect.
maybe then they will see the real me..
fuck them.
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dying in my sleep
the little bird came to me
she told me i had yet to live
as i turned to run from her word
i tripped down the rabbit hole
tumbling falling inside out
not knowing to live and let live
or just let it die.
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cherrydanza's journal
crazy.
tired.